Kaysen

My grandson just turned 4! It seems like just yesterday we found out my daughter was pregnant with her first child, then the epic gender reveal, where we found out that HE was not a SHE and that was completely shocking because all and I mean ALL of the old wives tales pointed to our baby as being a GIRL! Yes! I had dreams of helping create the perfect pink nursery for her, but God had other plans… much better plans!! So instead, we created the most adorable navy and khaki hunting themed nursery that (has now morphed into a hunting/Spidey, and the perfect little boys room!!

Labor was extremely hard on my daughter, which was extremely hard on me… (it was equally hard for her husband, her dad, and all of her sweet in laws and grandparents too, but this is my blog so I’m just gonna share my experiences.) Anyway, she labored for 40 long hours then had an emergency c-section. When I first got to meet THE BABY, I didn’t look at him much. My Mama heart was hurting over the pain MY baby had just gone through. However, it only took my son in law putting THE BABY in my arms and seeing his precious eyes… yes the lights were dim and he opened tiny slitted eyes… and I held him and fell in love! If this were a movie I would imagine some lullaby would be playing in the background that would make you fall in love in that perfect moment along with me…

Anyway, (and not many people know this) but as I was falling in love with Kaysen, God whispered something to me, and I knew it was going to be fine because my Lord had given me a peace about this knowledge… what did He whisper to me? He told me quietly as I was rocking Kaysen in that hospital room that Kaysen was Autistic. There were no signs of anything being “off” about him. He was absolutely perfect!! Physically, he was a beautiful baby! He had a head full of red hair and it looked like he had just left the barbershop! Well, he did have 1 single long strand of hair. It was precious! Anyway, I have gotten off topic in this post tonight just remembering everything about my precious Kaysen…

Let me get back to my main topic of this post… God told me that Kaysen was autistic and that it was ok. Kaysen had not had a single immunization at this point. My daughter was extremely careful during her pregnancy, annoyingly so, so there was absolutely NOTHING that was ingested during pregnancy that would have caused his autism. All of the latest reasons or excuses someone might want to come up with really does not hold water with me. And quite frankly, someone’s opinion about how or why does not mean anything to me because I would not change a single thing about Kaysen!!! I’m going to repeat that for “the ones in the back”.

I would not want to change a single thing about Kaysen!! He is extremely hard to handle at times. He is a runner (this is called eloping). He is not a child that can follow me into the store, or to the car, or into the house for that matter. I have to have my hand on him from point A to point B or he will take off. He has been considered nonverbal for most of his life. It is almost impossible to take care of a child when that child cannot tell you why they are crying. Is he hungry? Is he hurting? If he is hurting, where is he hurting? We taught him sign language for the first 2 years of his life and that was our best way to communicate with him. He still could not tell us if he hurt or where… he would get so frustrated that he would literally bang his head on any surface that was closest to him, whether it be me or the wall or the concrete floor. He did not just bang it once. He banged it over and over and over. I would try to have a pillow close to put under his head especially on the concrete. We would log his injuries of himself and of ourselves to show the doctor so that no one would think we were abusing him. We found out that this head banging was called stemming. In the beginning he had many stems. He would flap his arms/hands, cover his ears, walk on his toes, turn in circles as fast as he could, he would scream for minutes to all day. Whatever helped him in the moment or during the day, he did it. If you are wondering what his current stems are, he likes to: chomp ice, crunch chips or popcorn, say certain words or phrases over and over, etc.

When he was two years old, he was finally diagnosed. His mama found the most perfect ABA clinic for him, before this point, he had some wonderful speech and occupational therapists that came out to our houses and worked with him. This service was offered through the parish that we live in. The main thing that was hard for us to think about in these early days was sending him to therapy every day, all day long. He had been home during the day with his mama or with me for his whole life and now we had to give up most of that time with him. Even though it was hard, his mama and daddy decided to send him to therapy to help him because of course he was the most important one of this equation! As I mentioned, the clinic was perfect for him! A true Godsend!!! He has made leaps and bounds in his progress and he has made so many friends!!

I told y’all about the difficulties of those early days but I want to share some of the most precious things about Kaysen in those early days… he loved and still loves (though not as much) cuddles!! He is a huge snuggle bug!!! He lights up every room he enters and always has! He smiles at everyone! He does not meet a stranger (which is good and bad). He feels what others feel. If someone is sad, he is sad for them and usually goes and hugs them and in his own way asks them if they are alright. He doesn’t let anyone have a boo-boo without feeling it too. I recently fell and hurt my knee. He immediately purposely fell to the floor and held his knee because I was holding mine. He was not hurt, I couldn’t say the same. lol

He is now a big brother!! He is the best big brother!! His baby brother is 4 months old and in the last 4 months, Kaysen has been saying sentences and just talking up a storm! A lot of it is still hard to understand but instead of getting so frustrated, he has learned through ABA therapy to stop and redirect himself. He will come up with other ways of telling us what he is trying to say. He is probably (and I mean this literally) the smartest person I have ever met! It is unbelievable!! Without being prompted he will randomly read a word and know what it means. He is still a full time job but his amazing moments outweigh the hard ones tenfold!

Kaysen is truly a miracle child! He is going to accomplish HUGE things in his lifetime!! He loves BIG and my life is so much richer with him in it!!!

I could go on and on about his wonderful qualities and the struggles but I will do that another sleepless night… remember that God does not make mistakes and Kaysen is just one example of this being true!!