I. Am. An. Addict. It’s true. In the past few years I have become addicted to reading. I always have a book in my kindle app. I can read a couple of books a day when I don’t feel good and am having to rest. This week has been such a week.

I started reading autobiographies yesterday and I am currently reading one about a lady that was trying to get on a train and lost her balance and ended up falling. This reminded me of something that happened to me a few years ago.

In 2012, my mother took my whole family (the 3 of us, my sister, her hubs, and their 3, and my mom) on a cruise for Christmas. We actually left after Christmas and would be on the ship for New Years. It was amazing. However, it didn’t start out too well…

A couple of days before we were to leave for my first cruise ever, I find out that I have the flu!! Yep… luckily, I didn’t feel just horrible and I got to the dr early enough that the Tamiflu worked. Praise The Lord!!! Only that wasn’t all that went wrong…

This was a time when I had really long hair. It was down my back. I had chopped it off a couple of years before this and hated it so much that I went and got extensions glued in. After a month or so I got rid of them but I was determined to grow my hair back out and I did. Yay me!!! At this same time I had been on some steroids and was probably at my heaviest. Honestly, I probably weighed around 200 lbs. Yes, I will admit it… So why did I tell you all of that??? Well… just keep reading…

Ok so we get to the shipyard to get on the cruise ship and I had my hands full… I had 3 passports in one hand, a pillow and a monkey (stuffed) under that arm, a carry-on bag over my other shoulder (that was pretty heavy,) and my mom’s carry-on rolling suitcase in that hand. To get to the ship we had to go up an escalator. Hershel, Megan, and my niece were in front of me and I was in front of others, including my mom, my 2 nephews, and my brother in law and my sister. Anyway, I step on the escalator and my mom’s rolling suitcase didn’t make the same step I did and I got off balance. I grabbed for the black moving hand rest to catch myself, only I grabbed it too far down… where the black part met the stationary wall. This caused me to fall completely down. Backwards. I smacked my head on the corner of one of the steps but that wasn’t my problem at that point. I couldn’t get up. Everyone behind me was trying to lift me but because we were going up and gravity and all my baggage and my heaviness were all pushing me down, they were having an incredibly hard time lifting me.

Well, wasn’t there an emergency button? You ask… Yes, yes there was but the old hag that was on staff and at the top of the rolling death staircase wasn’t paying attention and had no clue that I had fallen. I’ll tell you more about her in a minute.

I had no idea how far we had gotten up this thing, but all I could imagine in my head was my very long hair getting caught in the escalator at the top and literally ripping my hair and scalp off my head. I was panicked!! My family behind me was also panicking because they couldn’t get me up. Finally about 4-5 steps from the top they were able to get me up where my hair wouldn’t get caught. I was pretty shaken up but was trying to be calm because Megan is very protective of me and I didn’t want her to get too upset since she would feed off of my reaction.

I get up to the top and Hershel and Megan and my niece had turned around to try and help me get on up. Well the hag starts yelling at them to go on around the corner to keep the line moving. This old woman still had no idea what was going on. Megan was already on the brink of crying from fear by this time and when this hag yelled at her to continue around the corner, essentially leaving me, her fear mixed with anger. This woman had no idea the can of worms she was about to open… No one went around the corner. Lol. They began to try and explain to her that I had fallen and she needed to hit the emergency stop button but she refused.

Did I mention that in the process of all of this, everyone dropped everything they had in their arms. Including me… when I grabbed the stationary part of the wall I dropped 2 of the passports. They landed in between the wall of the escalator and a glass wall. We could see them but could not get to them. My brother in law was trying to reach between there and get them and the hag started yelling at him and he finally picked up the poster advertisement for something and was able to reach both passports and got them for me. It would have been very helpful if the hag would have turned off the dumb escalator but she obviously had issues.

So now my family was concerned about my head. I had a pretty big knot but I didn’t want to have to go to the medics and postpone us getting on the ship. Plus I was pretty embarrassed and didn’t want all the attention so I played it off.

After the adrenaline wore off, I realized I had hit my ribs and my back on the steps as well and I was pretty sore but I didn’t let it ruin my fun. I had the best time!!!

I realized immediately how this incident could have gone a much different way!! God gave everyone behind me the strength to lift me up and I give Him all the glory for that!!! We pray for Him to put His hedge of protection around us and He does. He says that in whatever we ask, to ask with the faith of a child and know that He will give it and He is always faithful to do so!!! Thank you a million times over, Lord, for Your hedge of protection!!

I am a planner. I have my calendar with my appointments or plans written down on the correct date with the time and place. I check my calendar pretty much every day at least once. I suppose it gives me a sense of security to make sure I am where I am supposed to be, when I am supposed to be there.

Unfortunately for me, the sense of security that I feel is really a false sense. I am not in charge of where I am supposed to be when I think I am supposed to be there. I learned this lesson today.

I had planned to be somewhere today and it was really important to me that I be there. Obviously, God had other plans for me because I had an unfortunate case of food poisoning and ended up in the ER. I still thought I could get in and get the meds and get out in time to make my plans… yep… that didn’t happen… I don’t know why but for some reason I wasn’t supposed to go. Maybe I needed the medicine more or maybe I needed the rest, but my plans were changed.

When I think about my plans and God’s plans I realize that I am always trying to control my life when really God is in control. I don’t know when or if I will ever learn that I am the created and He is the Creator. His plans are always best!!

Thank you Father God for having patience with me. I love You! Thank you also for caring for me enough to make plans for me. I want to give You all the glory for my life!! I am humbled that You created me and shower me with blessings on a daily basis!! Please be with my friends and family. Give them Your strength and Your peace through the hard times that they are going through and the difficult times ahead. Please put Your hedge of protection around each and every one of them. Let them feel Your Loving Arms around them and let The love that You have for them sink into them. Thank you for all that You do for us, Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.

I started this blog site to give God the glory through everything in my life. I have shared many trials that I have gone through and how He brought me through it. The thing is, when I was in the trenches of said trial, I didn’t necessarily see how He was placing each piece together to work everything out. It was only when I got through it and looked back that I saw His Mighty Hand working.

Through the years I have made friends and lost friends and made new friends and even lost touch with some of those friends. As I get older, I find that the circle of my friends gets smaller. The friends that I still have are true blessings from God. I can see them once a week, once a month, once a year, or once every several years, but I know it’s true friendship because we just pick up where we left off the last time.

Once in a while I will meet someone and know instantly that this is someone placed in my life by God, I don’t have to look back to see His hand working I see it in the moment. In this particular case, it is a whole family. When we met we just all clicked. I honestly believe that we could sit and tell stories for hours and laugh and laugh!! I believe these friendships will last forever because God initiated them.

PROVERBS 18:24 ONE WHO HAS UNRELIABLE FRIENDS SOON COMES TO RUIN, BUT THERE IS A FRIEND WHO STICKS CLOSER THAN A BROTHER.

I truly hope and pray that you see God’s blessings in your own friends as I have.

As I am trying to get all of the essentials Megan (my almost 20 year old… GOOD GOLLY!!) needs for her latest trip out of the country, I think about all of the people who have asked me, “how do you let her go across the world and not go with her? Aren’t you worried about her?” My answer is usually the same every time, and that is, “I know that God goes before her and is taking much better care of her than I ever could.”

Let’s back up to when I was pregnant with her… it was 1994-1995, and Jon Benet Ramsey had just been found strangled in the basement of her house. I became obsessed with the story. I watched every bit of footage I could get my hands on. I was so worried that someone would come in and harm or take my child.

We still live in the same house we did back then and her room has 2 windows in it. I had purchased a video monitor so that I could watch and hear everything she did. She was in her crib in her room from the first day/night we got home from the hospital. I was so obsessed with the JBR case that I put furniture in front of both of her windows, don’t get me wrong, if there was a fire we could get out of the windows easily but if someone was trying to come in, it would not be easy and I would hear and possibly see them.

As time went on, I realized that the Lord was holding her in the palm of His hand because as clumsy as this child is, she could have easily been hurt bad by now.

Back to the present. Last year Megan went to France and before she left, I had a conversation with her about safety and staying with her group, etc. She told me, “Mom, if something happens to me I am ok with it.” She taught me in that moment that I have to trust in my ever faithful Father. She came home and had so many wonderful stories to tell!

This year is the same, when she leaves in a few days, I am trusting my ever faithful Father to keep her in His hand and keep His hedge of protection around her. I want her to have wonderful experiences and come home with even more stories to tell.

I will not worry but I will continue to pray for her and her whole group that is going. I pray that she makes a lot of new friends (since she knows no one that is going) and I pray that everyone she comes into contact with sees Jesus in her face, in the way she carries herself, and in her actions. I will pray for everyone that she comes into contact with from the moment we leave our house until the moment we return home with her.

Philippians 4:6-7 says:

Isn’t God good?! He wants us to turn our every worry over to Him so that He can carry that burden and take care of whatever has us worried. He wants us to trust in Him and I am by no means perfect in this but I am going to try my best to give it to Him and leave it there!!!

Thank you Father for loving me so much that You don’t want me to worry. You want me to give You my problems and allow You to take care of them. I want to do just that and give You all the glory that is due you for answering to the call. I love You, My Lord!! Amen!!

If you feel led to pray with me for Megan and the group that she will be traveling with I would greatly appreciate it!! Please let me know if you do, I love getting the feedback from you all!!❤️

Dear Daddy,

It has been a while since I wrote to you last. A lot has happened since my last letter. I’m sure you could say the same.

Hershel is still working a lot but is enjoying fishing as much as possible. He still takes great care of me and Megan!!

Speaking of Megan, she is in her 2nd year of college and is already a junior. She still has a long time to go though since she still wants to be a vet. Oh Daddy, you would be so proud of her!! Her relationship with the Lord has gotten so strong. She is a real leader for Christ. She has been on several mission trips and has another planned for this summer!! She will also be working for a vet this summer and she is really excited. can you believe she will be 20 years old next month? I can’t!! I hope she doesn’t mind me telling you that she has a new boyfriend and although it is a new relationship, I think he is a keeper. I don’t really know how it will all work out so I’m leaving it all in God’s capable hands.

I have been doing ok. I have been a bit depressed lately, but I am finally coming out of it and starting to enjoy life more. I have decided to try new things and to put myself out there… basically get out of my comfort zone. Last week I went to a mini convention for my company and our CEO said that to grow, we have to get out of our comfort zones. And when ya think about it, that’s true.

I have also been trying my best to follow your example and keep my smile, no matter how bad I feel or how much life knocks me down. I don’t know if I have ever thanked you for being such a wonderful example for me to follow. So, thank you!! I guess I will let you get back to what you were doing. I love you to Heaven and back a million times!!!

Love Always,

Sara Beth

P.S. I wish so much that you could write me back and let me know what you’ve been up to. It has been so long. I don’t know if you realize but tomorrow marks the 10th anniversary of your home going. I still remember our last conversation. We talked about Megan’s birthday invitations I was having printed up and you said that if they were camouflage that no one would be able to see them. You and your sense of humor are greatly missed! As well as your advice, your hugs, your silly faces, and especially when you talked like a duck. I miss everything about you and my heart is missing a huge chunk out of it.

They told me it would get easier, but it hasn’t. Yes, I have learned how to go on with my daily life without seeing you or talking to you but I still miss you so much! Probably even more than ever!!

God has been taking me on a journey lately and I really want more opportunities to work for Him. If you have time and think about it, please put a little bug in His ear for me. Thanks!!

So yes, my precious Daddy has been in Heaven for 10 years. I can’t imagine the amazing things he hears, sees, smells, and tastes. Nor can I imagine sitting at Jesus’ feet, or hearing “well done my good and faithful servant!” And the people he gets to visit with. Wow!! I can’t wait to be there one day when the Lord decides it’s my time.

Praise God that I am not of this world because in this world there is so much sadness and heartbreak. Fortunately, I belong to the Heavenly Father and in Him I can celebrate, and that’s exactly what I got to do tonight!!

I was honored to go to the celebration of the Golden Anniversary of my Aunt and Uncle. This couple is so special to me! They are always there to listen to me vent and offer advice when needed, lend a hand, cook, clean, show me how to put a quilt together, mow, even come to my house to get a lizard out of the living room… you name it and they are there. (Unless they are out of town helping build churches…)

This couple was not mine from my birth but became mine 22 years ago when I married my best friend. I could not love them any more if I tried! What an amazing example of a Godly marriage!!

Happy Anniversary Aunt Nelda and Uncle Danny!!

My family has been struck by a horrible tragedy. It still seems so unreal that it is hard to wrap my head and my heart around it. I can see the pain it has caused in the faces around me and I look in the mirror and see shock looking back. I don’t understand the reasons why this had to happen and I’m sure I never will but I will not get angry at God. I will lean on Him and pray for peace. Peace for my family and peace for the community. I also pray for this to open the hearts of those young people that need You, Lord. I have no doubt that You can reach them through this.

My cousins found their 14 year old son in his room with a gun shot wound to the head on Tuesday night. They had all gone to their rooms to go to bed and heard a loud noise and ran into his room. What they found will be emblazoned in their memory forever. I cannot image that being the last thing they saw of their son.

I love this family so much and I would take this away in a heartbeat but unfortunately I can’t do that so I pray for the Lord to erase that from their everyday mind. I pray that He restores all of the wonderful memories they have.

I pray for strength to get through the next few weeks, one day at a time… one minute at a time if necessary. I pray for a peace that can only come from our Heavenly Father.

I pray that this will bring them closer as a couple and not tear them apart. I pray that I can do and say what God would want me to do or say to help them in any way possible.

I pray for my other cousin that helped clean up the house. I pray that he find peace through Jesus Christ. I pray that the Lord dull his memories of what he saw and give him what he needs to get through this.

I pray that many will be reached for the Lord during the celebration service today. I pray that this tragedy didn’t happen in vain and that some good can come out of it.

Please do not take anything for granted!! Hug your babies, your spouses, your family. Tell them that you love them and that they are so important to you. Remind them that God put them in your life for a reason.

Find comfort in God the Father. There is no reason to look else where. He is the Ultimate Healer and Comforter.

This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life but I know that the Lord is carrying me. I pray that I can be a beacon of light to them. I am so thankful that God said in the Bible “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4.

Go fly high Gauge!! Love you!!

Another first for me yesterday. Before I go into that let’s go way back to 1989. My parents and my sister and I had lived in this tiny town south of Minden LA. I’ve mentioned this before but just wanted to remind y’all. My parents got a hardship thing at the school board every year for my daddy to take us to school in Minden since that is where he worked.

So we got this hardship approved every year until my 6th grade year. (Since my sister was going into high school they allowed her to continue to go to school in Minden.) They said that I had to transfer to the school in my district. I was heart broken!! I had to leave all of my friends behind. It was at a time when my class of students would be moving to a new school which combines all of the 6th graders in Minden to one school. So not only was I being left out but they were making friends that I didn’t know. It was really hard for a pre-teen. Yes, I made new friends too but I was jealous of my old friends new friends. If you can follow that…

Even though I had made some new friends, I was still the new girl, and red headed at that… so I got picked on relentlessly. I even had prank callers calling my house saying really really ugly things. (They didn’t know my dad though. He fixed up a device on the receiver that would record all of the calls. He did this for evidence purposes. He should have been in the FBI or something.)

Back to my story. After 2 years at my new school Mom and Dad decided to sell our house and move to Minden. They did this for several reasons but mainly so that I could go to school in Minden. It came time for school to start for the new year and Mom and Dad still had not found a house they felt comfortable in or whatever, so we rented a house. It was quite comical that in this house you could hear the radio station through the phone lines. This radio station was just a few doors down the road. So in one house dad had it rigged to record and the rent house we could hear recordings. Lol.

Finally right before Christmas Mom and Dad had found us a house to live in. When we moved in they had 100 trees cut out of the yard. No joke!! So that was my house through high school and college and young adulthood until I got married.

Mom still lives there to this day, however, it looks a smidge different. Fast forward to 2000, Easter Sunday. Hershel, Megan, and I had spent the day with Mom and Dad and not long after lunch was cleaned up, the skies opened up and dropped 3 tornadoes on top of Mom and Dad’s house. Dropping almost all of the rest of the trees and taking part of the roof. The tornadoes even took all of the plants that Mom and Dad had planted the day before. There were 3 trees left: 1 fig tree, 1 pear tree, and 1 dogwood tree. This dogwood stood tall and proud crowned with white azaleas all around the whole thing. Last year it started to die and Mom asked if Hershel could take it down.

Yesterday, I used a chain saw for the first time and it was to cut the precious dogwood. This shouldn’t be a sad thing right? Oh but it is because I’m a very sentimental person and that part of me knows that my sweet daddy took great care of that tree for many years. The Lord spared that tree. What is the significance to that? Well, the dogwood flower is compared to Jesus on the cross. Each flower has 4 petals on them the tips of each petal is touched with a brownish stain color resembling the blood on Jesus’ head, both hands, and feet.

As we get closer to Easter, you will likely see the dogwoods bloom. Take notice of the flowers and the petals. The Easter bunny and stuff is fun and all but let’s not forget the real reason for Easter.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He sent His one and only Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have ever lasting life. “

So, today was the day that I have told y’all about. I got to go speak to 500 medical professionals about my journey with Psoriasis (Pso) and Psoriatic Arthritis (PsA). I can’t believe it is already over!!

Last night I had a practice session where we tested out the microphones and got a feel for the stage, etc. We had the best time!!  I met some really amazing people. Since I was just giving the story of my life, I wasn’t too worried about the questions until practice. At practice, I was chasing rabbits all over the place. Eeekkk!!!  We only had 15-20 minutes allotted to us and y’all know I can talk about me for hours!!

After practice, Mom, Gypsy, and I went up to our hotel room to go to bed but I decided to pick what I was going to wear on stage. I had taken 4 outfits. I had been excited about 2 of the outfits, that is, until I tried them on in the hotel room. Ugh!!! I didn’t know what I was going to do, but had agreed that I would wear an outfit that I didn’t feel was “business appropriate”. (It wasn’t risqué at all but it wasn’t what I deemed appropriate.)

We were beyond exhausted when we finally went to bed, but I could not sleep. All I kept thinking was that I was going to get on that stage and chase rabbits and go over on my time and I was going to do it wearing something I brought to wear for the trip home.

About 3:30 am I heard Gypsy stirring so I got her out of her bed and we went into the bathroom. I wanted to soak in the tub and maybe relax. After soaking I decided on an outfit that I brought that I forgot to try on. I ironed my pants, prayed that God would give me the words to write out the cliff’s notes version of my journey and went back to bed. I felt so much better.

We got up this morning and took our time getting ready and I felt pretty confident. We went down to the conference area for me to get my mic on (I felt like a preacher hehe) and waited for my time to go speak. We waited and waited and did some more waiting.

The lady that was from the medical company that was helping me went to see how much longer it would be until I went on and when she got up, my mind went completely blank. I looked at mom and I said, “my mind just went completely blank. We may have a problem!”

Finally, it was about 5 minutes until my interview so they came out and got us and took us to our seats. My mouth was dry and my mind was still blank. They had a bottle of water at my chair so I drank some to “wet my whistle” as my daddy would have said.

Then the man on stage said my name. It was time. Mind is still blank of any information. I was nervous in a calm kind of way. There were no butterflies and I didn’t have the feeling I was going to throw up or pee my pants and my heart rate was normal. I knew at that moment what was happening. God didn’t give me the words to write my cliff’s notes version… He took over. He gave me a calm and He gave my journey in a way where everyone was going through the emotions with me. They laughed, they clapped, and they were in awe of my before and after pictures. Many of them came over to me and asked to take pictures with me. I was shocked. Everyone I came in contact with stopped me and told me how much they appreciated my story.

I cannot and will not take the credit for this interview going so well. God carried me through the entire interview. I could go back and tell you the exact moment that God took over for me.

My precious Father in Heaven takes care of all of my needs every single time.  Yes, I prayed for Him to help me but I didn’t even think about Him helping me during the interview, but He did. He went above and beyond what I prayed for!!!  How amazing!!  Thank you Lord for knowing more what I needed than I did.

What defines me or you? Is it who we hang around with or who our family is? Is it our hobbies we choose? Our past mistakes? Our past accolades? Is it who we worship or who we don’t worship? Hmmmmm… What do I want to define who I am?

My mom and dad have always been thought of well. My mom goes through her life with such grace that only those closest to her would ever know when something might be bothering her. Everyone tells me how much they love my mother and I love to hear it!!

My dad was also loved very much. When he changed his residency from Minden Louisiana to Heaven, we heard from almost every country in the world, and all of it was story after story about something my dad had done for this person or that one. My dad taught school and was a pastor. His sermons were very touching and obviously came straight from above but that really wasn’t what he is remembered for. He is remembered for what he did behind the scenes when he was not in front of a pulpit. His life mirrored, as much as humanly possible, that of Jesus Christ. No, I don’t think my daddy never sinned. He sinned every day in one way or another. What I am saying is that when those people that knew him, or knew of him, think of him and what he stood for, they think of Jesus Christ. I know without a shadow of a doubt that when my daddy got to those pearly gates of Heaven, he was welcomed in and was told, ” WELL DONE MY GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT!” And he was most likely given his crown filled with jewels on it.

I wish that just being their daughter could define me but it can’t. So I have to look and figure out what defines me. Yes, it is the people I choose as my friends. Yes, it is what hobbies I choose. No, I don’t believe that it is my mistakes because I have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus. Those mistakes are as far from the east is to the west according to my Heavenly Father. No, I don’t believe it is my past accolades.

Most importantly, yes, I believe what defines me is who I worship. I worship The Trinity!! God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit!! That’s what I want to define who I am!!! When someone looks at me, I want them to see the face of God the Father. When someone talks about me I want them to talk about Jesus Christ. And when someone hears about me I want them to know the Holy Spirit carries me through.

If you are struggling with your definition, call out to the Father, message me, or go talk to someone that you see Jesus in. It doesn’t matter who you go to to find Jesus, just find Him because He already loves you and has already prepared the best gift of all for you and that gift is eternal life with Him.