My Childhood was really good! I had the best parents I could have asked for, and an older sister that I could pester relentlessly! We lived in a small town called Sibley, Louisiana. Our neighborhood was formed in a U shape, and I had so many friends in my neighborhood, we played until the sun went down every day!
My dad was a bi-vocational pastor, meaning that he pastored a church part time and worked another job full time. For his other job, he was an instructor at the Vo-Tech (as it was called back then) about 10-15 minutes north of Sibley in a city named Minden, Louisiana. The church he pastored was also in Minden. So yes, I was one of those kids… a PK, or preacher’s kid.
My mom worked in a town south of Sibley called Dubberly. She was a customer service agent for a sand plant that mined sand for glass companies. As far as I was concerned we were rich. We never talked about how much money my parents made, so I don’t what financial class we were actually in, but I had everything I needed and most of what I wanted. We lived in a nice house and we were a close knit family, so I was happy.
My dad would take my sister and me to Minden to school every day and this gave me even more friends. I had friends in Minden, and in Sibley! The trips home every day were some of the best memories I have of that particular time. Daddy would stop at the 7-11 and we would get a snack, mine was usually chocolate donuts and an icee. Daddy had a small red truck that we called the Tomato, and I would usually sit in between Daddy and my sister on Daddy’s briefcase.
Like I said, I had a lot of friends, but I had 1 very best friend that I would spend a ton of time with. (For privacy reasons, I’m going to call her Betsy, this is not her name though.) I spent most weekends and a lot in the summer at Betsy’s house. She didn’t live in Sibley, so someone would have to take me over to her house or her parents would have to come pick me up. We did so much together! We were both members of a swim club, and Betsy’s dad had a key to the club, so we could go after hours and swim in the middle of the night if we wanted to , which we did quite a bit.
I could not remember a time in my life that Betsy was not my friend. We were so close I called her parents Momma and Daddy. I would add their name after Momma, so like I would call them Momma Jane and Daddy John (these are not their real names). From before I could remember Daddy John would touch me in places that no one else ever touched me. It didn’t strike me as odd, because I was so young when it all started, and he never hurt me. As I got a little older, he would have me touch him. I can honestly say that I didn’t know it was wrong. He was Daddy John and he was telling me and showing me how to touch him so I did what he said. He never acted like it was wrong and he never said, “Don’t tell your parents” or “Don’t tell Momma Jane”. So it never crossed my mind that it was wrong.
I want you to understand something. Hormones are in every child lying dormant until puberty, unless someone “wakes” them up. He had woken up my hormones at a very young age. The Lord created these hormones for marriage, and He created them for pleasure within the marriage. When these hormones are awaken, it doesn’t matter what age, it gives pleasure because that is what they are for. So yes, when he would touch me, not only did I not realize it was wrong, but I liked it. I allowed it to happen until I was in jr high school. I never told anyone about it, because it was just what happened when I went to Betsy’s house.
No, no other person ever touched me like that, but that still didn’t clue me in as to the fact that it was wrong. Years later (after I was married) my dad asked me why I allowed it for so long, because to him it was completely wrong and in his normal mind, he would never even look at a child in that way! Ever! I don’t know if I was ever able to make him understand that even though no one else touched me like that, I didn’t know it was wrong. When something that is for adults begins to happen to a child that is so young, that she doesn’t even know any better, she doesn’t know to say no, or go tell a parent or teacher. At that time, in the early 70’s, parents didn’t know to explain things like that to children, nor did they think they needed to watch for it, especially from a family friend.
Like I said, it stopped in jr. high school, basically because the family moved. I’m sure that he found other young girls to touch. I did not let it bother me to the point that I needed counseling, but some do. I believe I have always been one of those people that let things roll off my back and put them out of my mind, so I don’t worry about them. I do this with every adversity at one point or another. I never liked going through the certain part of the US where I knew they lived, so obviously, it bothered me some but not enough to do anything about it.
About 2 years ago, so probably the summer of 2016, my mother in law took my sister in law and me and all the kids on a vacation. My daughter Megan and I rode in my car, because there was so much luggage and so many people, we needed the room. On the way home from our vacation, we had to go through the part of the US where they lived, and I felt my chest get heavy, and I knew the Lord was talking to me. I knew it was time to forgive Daddy John. I called information on my cell phone to get their phone number to call and see if they were home, but their number was a private number. I started praying that the Lord would open the doors to finding where they lived and how to get in touch with them, so I could face him and let him know that I forgave him and that he did not ruin my life.
All of a sudden, doors opened up and not only did I have his number, but his address and everything. I called my sister in law and explained that Megan and I were taking a detour and for them to go on. Then I called the number that I had and I got the answering machine. The devil was trying to block what the Lord was doing… but we all know that wasn’t going to work! The Lord can move mountains… the devil can’t do anything! I left a message that I was in the area and wanted to come by and gave them my phone number for them to call me when they got the message. I then put their address in my gps and headed that way. When we got to their neighborhood, there was a gate. I told God that I knew He didn’t drop all the information in my lap just for a gated community to keep me out, so I pulled my car in front of the gate and it opened. Praise God!
I drove into their driveway and started to get out of the car, but Megan didn’t move. I asked her if she was coming and she said, “Nope!” I said, “Yes you are. Get out of the car!.” Then we walked to the front door and rang the doorbell, and a cute little dog came running to the door, then a much much older looking Daddy John came to the door and invited us in. He then asked, “What can I do for you?” I asked him if he recognized me, and he said no. I told him who I was and he was excited to see me. He couldn’t believe that I was there and all grown up, and he especially couldn’t believe my daughter was all grown up either. I asked where Momma Jane was and she wasn’t home. She was picking up their grandkids (which I believe was another God thing because those grandkids didn’t need to hear what I was there to say).
He invited us into the living room and started visiting, talking non stop for about 15 minutes. I soon got concerned I wouldn’t have a chance to say what I needed to say, so I prayed for the Lord to close his mouth long enough for me to talk. lol True to form, He answered my prayer. I told this man I now called John that when I was little he touched me in places and in ways he should never have touched me. To which he replied, “I honestly don’t remember that, but if I did, I am truly sorry. I was not a healthy man at one time.” I told him that I had forgiven him and that he did not ruin my life. I told him I had a wonderful marriage and a gorgeous daughter and that I was happy. He said that he was glad. I also told him I was concerned that he was touching his grandchildren or other children and he assured me he wasn’t. Do I believe him? I don’t know but I said what the Lord put on my heart to say.
Jane got there with one of the grandchildren and we visited for a little while and then Megan and I got back on the road. When I walked out of that house I felt like a huge burden had been lifted from me, a burden that I had no idea I had been carrying around.
After getting out of their neighborhood, I had to pull over at a gas station because I got so nervous I was shaking! My point of this post is to show that on my own, I would have been too intimidated to face him, but I felt the Lord’s presence in that house that day. While in the house, I was completely calm, because I had God leading me. I am not saying that when I left the house God left me, what I am saying is that I tried to take back over afterward, and I realized just how weak I am without my Lord and Savior!
PROVERBS 3:5-6 TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND DO NOT LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM, AND HE WILL MAKE STRAIGHT YOUR PATHS.
My Journey, Giving God the Glory 